Friday, May 13, 2011
Perhaps the single most important movement in the history of America. The Feminist Movement. This Movement changed the face of parenting, business, and the social landscape forever! Feel free to chime in with your thoughts for now. Father Faction will be spending the majority of next week examining this interesting phenomena.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Monday, May 2, 2011
Ok my good comrades in Father Faction time for some real talk about a real subject. That subject would be loss of mojo after marriage and or being a father for a few years. The rut has settled in.....the routine is established and you are in full fledge frump mode. Now I am not saying routine is bad, I think it can actually be good for setting discipline firmly in your life, however, you must know how to break the routine to bring back some level of excitement. When you begin to introduce variety into your day you will see that you will begin. Here are the top ways to put the Magic back into your Mojo, The Swagger into you Step:
1) Work out - when you look in the mirror and see good muscle tone, when you reach in your pocket and see a protruding tricep muscle you can't help but feel good.
2) Spend money on yourself - lets face it, when you have children, sometimes they get the bulk of the expendable cash. I have seen some parents whose children have on the latest fashion and Dad is wearing a pair of Pumas from '86.
3) Flirt with your wife or significant other - doing this will feed your male ego...period. But be careful....it could lead to more children!!!!!!!!!!
4)Eat more peanuts - Food items like peanuts and broccoli have great testosterone producing capabilities for the body. When you couple the right foods with working out...you could develop into the MAN you used to be.
5)Mental Conditioning - It is one thing to work your body but you must remember that the brain is a muscle too so learn something new. It could be a skill or a fact or a shortcut home even. To show the positive effect this can have just look at your children. When children learn something new, their face lights up and they tell everyone what they just learned, and they talk about it over and over and over. We can learn alot form them if we slow down and pay attention.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Classic! This scene epitomizes some father son relationships. A constant battle of wills but with the same goal just different ways of going about it.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Baby wearing is a big thing in the American parenting community, however, it is nothing new to indigenous cultures such as many African, Asian, and other "third world" cultures. In my understanding, the children in these cultures tend to be more mature and well adjusted to their society than children in cultures which are more technologically advanced. I believe that in many instances, technology decreases the human touch and compassion that is innate in the human spirit, and this is translated into their parenting style.
Nonetheless, I am very glad to see that American parents have begun to understand the importance of craddling and holding the child instead of the antiquated perspective of "self - soothing." In self soothing, it is recommended that the parent allow the child to cry until the baby stops. Imagine that you lost the ability to speak or use hand gestures to express yourself, and are in deep need of something and no one is coming to your aid. Imagine the frustration and bitterness you would feel toward people and your environment on a subconscious level. The same is for babies, in my opinion, who are taught to self soothe.
I as a father carry my children on my back with a thick piece of fabric or in a sling wrap. It soothes them in a way that is almost unexplainable and creates a love between us that is forever.
Here are the benefits of babywearing from askdrsears.com
Sling babies cry less. Parents in my practice commonly report, "As long as I wear her, she's content!" Parents of fussy babies who try babywearing relate that their babies seem to forget to fuss. This is more than just my own impression. In 1986, a team of pediatricians in Montreal reported on a study of ninety-nine mother-infant pairs. The first group of parents were provided with a baby carrier and assigned to carry their babies for at least three extra hours a day. They were encouraged to carry their infants throughout the day, regardless of the state of the infant, not just in response to crying or fussing. In the control, or noncarried group, parents were not given any specific instructions about carrying. After six weeks, the infants who received supplemental carrying cried and fussed 43 percent less than the noncarried group.
2. Sling babies learn more. If infants spend less time crying and fussing, what do they do with the free time? They learn! Sling babies spend more time in the state of quiet alertness . This is the behavioral state in which an infant is most content and best able to interact with his environment. It may be called the optimal state of learning for a baby. Researchers have also reported that carried babies show enhanced visual and auditory alertness.
The behavioral state of quiet alertness also gives parents a better opportunity to interact with their baby. Notice how mother and baby position their faces in order to achieve this optimal visually interactive plane. The human face, especially in this position, is a potent stimulator for interpersonal bonding. In the kangaroo carry, baby has a 180-degree view of her environment and is able to scan her world. She learns to choose, picking out what she wishes to look at and shutting out what she doesn't. This ability to make choices enhances learning. A sling baby learns a lot in the arms of a busy caregiver.
3. Sling babies are more organized. It's easier to understand babywearing when you think of a baby's gestation as lasting eighteen months – nine months inside the womb and at least nine more months outside. The womb environment automatically regulates baby's systems. Birth temporarily disrupts this organization. The more quickly, however, baby gets outside help with organizing these systems, the more easily he adapts to the puzzle of life outside the womb. By extending the womb experience, the babywearing mother (and father) provides an external regulating system that balances the irregular and disorganized tendencies of the baby. Picture how these regulating systems work. Mother's rhythmic walk, for example, (which baby has been feeling for nine months) reminds baby of the womb experience. This familiar rhythm, imprinted on baby's mind in the womb, now reappears in the "outside womb" and calms baby. As baby places her ear against her mother's chest, mother's heartbeat, beautifully regular and familiar, reminds baby of the sounds of the womb. As another biological regulator, baby senses mother's rhythmic breathing while worn tummy- to-tummy, chest-to-chest. Simply stated, regular parental rhythms have a balancing effect on the infant's irregular rhythms. Babywearing "reminds" the baby of and continues the motion and balance he enjoyed in the womb.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
1) Find an outlet... I don't mean hanging with your boys because that doesn't reinforce a solid family structure especially if your boys are single! The outlet will give you something to look forward to that can make the endless days and nights of raising a young child seem more enjoyable. You can even count down..."three more days until...."
2) If you do choose to watch TV don't watch shows which glorify scandalous subjects like extramarital affairs, swinging singles lifestyles etc.
3) Make sure the house smells nice when you come in. This is a subtle thing but aromatherapy is miraculous for changing one's mood.
4) Pain the walls of your home different bright colors. This visual stimulation works very similar to aromatherapy but through one's sense of sight. Bright flowers right by the main entrance works both one's sense of smell and sight.
5) Give hugs regardless of whether or not you feel like it. We have all heard the advice.... "if you smile constantly eventually you will become happy. The same is true for hugs...eventually you will become loving and compassionate.
6) Stare at your baby while the baby is asleep. This is the picture you want of your baby.... quiet. There is a peace that always comes over me when I watch my boys sleep because you can really see how innocent and worthy of your best they really are. Keep this mental picture and revisit it when you feel yourself slipping into the darkness.
7) Set a personal goal and work towards it. Make sure the goal is not one which will distract from the family but will somehow enhance the family.
Have more do share!
Monday, March 14, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
It could be possible that the tactics used by this woman in Tiger Mom are against the norm of American parenting, I think a change in how we raise our children should arise in response to the decline of American values and productivity. How to change and what to change is up to the individual but necessary if we as a society are to stay afloat. Check the book and blog on! If you have already begun a parenting revolution within your own household, feel free to share right here on Father Faction...Man Up!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
√1. Who do you love? My family.
Monday, February 28, 2011
"You know the family is the solution to the world's problems today
Now let's take a look at the family
In the family the father is like the head, the leader, the director
Not domineering, but showing love, guidance
For everyone else in the family
Now if we could get all the fathers of the world
To stand up and be fathers
That would be great..."
"...that is if we all come together no matter what color, race, creed
Because that's all in the head whether you wanna believe it or not
'Cause you'll bleed
Family, family reunion
It'll be nice, so nice, so nice"
Friday, February 25, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
- Get a tape, CD or mp3 of a screaming baby. Set an alarm to it and have it go off and play it periodically throughout the night and during the day when you are home. This will help you to desensitize to the newness of earpiercing unfamiliar noises.
- When this sound goes off have a mantra that you say to yourself....like "I am the calmest coolest father ever and everyone sees it and knows it." This mantra programs you to go into father mode instantly to meet the needs of your baby. Even before the baby is born get in the habit of doing something baby related when you hear the cry.
- HANG OUT WITH FATHERS WITH YOUNG CHILDREN. INTERVIEW THEM...SEE WHAT THEIR DAY IS LIKE....TALK TO THEIR WIVES....GATHER INTELLIGENCE FOR YOU PENDING MISSION!
- Know that your wife is walking around with two heads, two brains, and two sets of everything when she is pregnant. This fact will set up or next blog posts concerning Pregnant Wives
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
1. Who do you love? Myself first because then it can trickle down to everyone else. You can't love anyone unless you love yourself...no offense Honey :)
2. Kids? Sure do Ages? 7, 4 and 1 ....all boys
3. Profession? Limo driver, hairstylist, crochet artist of exclusive caps, gotta stay flexible in this economy!
4. Favorite memory of being a dad? I don't have one. I have a bunch. I caught two of my boys at home, myself, so not too many things stick out more than that. I would have to say though my favorite memory including all of my children happens every time I come in from work. They all come over to me and greet me with hugs and the crafts they did for the day.
5. Most important thing to teach your children? The most important thing I could teach them is that they are responsible for everything that happens to them in their life and that they can change anything with focus and SMART work.
6. Favorite saying? It would have to be MAN UP!!!!
7. Hobbies? I live my life like one big hobby.
8. Last song you listened to? A joint by Fela Kuti...the father of African Jazz Rhythms.
9. Favorite place in the world? Ethiopia
10. Where do you live? Englewood NJ
11. Favorite drink? Frozen banana, peanut butter, chocolate almond milk, turbinado sugar soy protein powder smoothie.
12. What did you eat for breakfast? I had the answer to question number 11 or a 7 grain porridge.
13. Dream car? Army certified Hum V
14. Person you most admire? My grandfather Why? I admired him because my father tells me that he only remembers my grandfather getting upset with him one time and that was when he was about 20. I want to emulate that but I definitely fall short most times. To raise children in the south like he did and maintain a legendary calmness and innate wit is amazing. My grandfather worked hard and actually had a few inventions to his credit that were used to streamline various aspects of farm life in the town.
15. Fantasy family vacation? Leave Teterboro airport, fly in a G6 to anywhere with warm weather, fruit trees, natural rivers, hot springs and mountains. Live like it was the garden of Eden but with clothes on.
16. Favorite word one of your kids mis-pronounces? My four year old used to try to say soy sausage and most of the time it would sound like he was saying Roy Rogers then it evolved into something that sounded like Bob Marley.
17. Weirdest thing you have found in your refrigerator? a non-descript molded vegetable under the crisper drawer; a straight science project.
18. Moment you knew, you were a "dad"? That took a little while I think. When my third son was born I think it really kicked in. I looked at my sons and said wow I have three sons. It really hit me that I had three little responsibilities that shared my DNA.
19. Favorite cartoon your kids watch that you can enjoy as well? Avatar
20. Kids and wife are out for the day, what do you do? Dang when does that ever happen?! No wait...it has happened once or twice. I layed with my back flat on the bed, arms at my sides and stayed perfectly still in an attempt to astral project consciously. I actually ended up going to sleep. When I woke up they still weren't home so I got up and made dinner for when they did come home. I am big on O.B.E's and intend to have a conscious one soon. WEIRDO ALERT!!!!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Part of guiding our children is having those few brief moments when you drop a jewel of information and life lessons on their brain stem. It is important that we as fathers study ourselves and as much life experiences as possible to see whether we are dishing out the right information. The worst thing you could say to a child is "I did the best with what I had to give." It's an excuse to excuse our lack of progression as fathers. This won't wash with a child who has been crying out (through actions in school etc.) for more. They are requiring more than the best of what we think we can give them. We must recognize these little cries and if we aren't able to accomodate based on our current level of understanding....then we must find someone or something that can accomodate.
This is one strong jewel that will definitely stick with any child for life. Make your words counts and make your actions count even more. MAN UP!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Marcus Yam/The New York Times created the photographs, and video I assume, based on photo credits. It is truly inspiring work.
It's called, "The Home Front" and it is amazing journalism.
Father Faction recognizes this man and thanks him.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Oh yeah, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to my ultra mega super cool, sexy, smart, wife. I love you Kate!
- Go throughout your month as you normally would and keep the receipt for eveything, including that Snapple you bought at the deli.
- Evaluate those receipts at the end of the month and separate them by category (ie. bills, food, misc. etc.)
- See which areas can be shaved down or eliminated and do so the following month (use manufacturers coupons found on their website and also store circulars for grocery bills)
- For the following month keep envelopes with the category written on it.
- Put the extra cash from those categories where you decreased the spending into the savings account.
- Put a goal on the extra cash you are saving in order to make the act of saving more appealing. (ie. when you save up $3000, take $1500 and buy some gold)
You may come to find that eating out or movies and other areas that are not a necessity are the culprits. Everyone knows that as soon as you break that 20$ its gone which is why the ATM gives you $20s and not $100s; thats also why when you cash a check you ask for the majority of it in $100s. That being said break a $20 save a $5.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
So have an extra cup of coffee before they get home or before you do and focus on their education. Remember, you are your child's greatest teacher and their number one advocate! MAN UP!!!!!
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
to listen to YOUR music at super high volume! (Breakdancing optional but heavily supported!)
Friday, January 21, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Some year's back now, we were looking for someone to lock my oldest daughter's hair. Enter Tintawi and her husband Isatu. We would talk alot during the three hour appointments and a friendship was born. Isatu and I could talk for hours about music and movies and most importantly about just living our lives, feeling fortunate and realizing that it all came back to our lovely wives and our children. Being the creative men that we are, you are now reading the product of many conversations, email's and Facebook messages.
It's going to explode!
Father Faction is for the dads. It will have stuff we love and also some advice for the fathers. The men who bust their ass, appreciate their wives and make time for their kids AND are AWESOME! You need to take care of yourself but not to a point that effects those you love and value. It's your wife that will always support you, don't forget that. I am totally ripping off "Chali 2na" from Jurassic 5 but... the most you can spend on your kids, is time.
I will leave this inaugural blog post with a photo because I am a photographer. It's more than my career, it is my life and the way I see my world and my kids (see below) are most often my subjects. Peace.